April contacted me earlier this month. A reader of this blog since late last year and a person who wanted to share her story. Given this is a collaborative space, where there is power to hear more than one perspective, I invited her to share her thoughts. Her story, of her and her Dad. Welcome […]

Dying to know day 2015

August 8 is Dying to know day – whilst I work as a missing persons researcher, the ambiguity of that loss means that we talk very little about the concept of a ‘good’ death because so much remains unknown. Those conversations, the ones where peoples rights are respected, where the journey is as soft and […]


How soon is too soon when we share the stories of victims of a crime? I just returned from two weeks at the beach with my kids. I read 6 books in that time, almost more than I read for pleasure in the whole of 2014. They were perfect holiday reads, stories with tidy conclusions, […]

Dying to Know Day 2014

For a person that exists (for most of my work hours) in the realms of here and gone the idea of losing anyone around me creates fear-inducing, panic-ridden hysteria. I practice gratitude each day in the hugs I steal from my kids, in making sure I stop what Im doing and give my husband a big […]

dark sunset

Grief in online communities – What do you do when you lose a friend you’ve never met? It’s odd how we socially construct ways to live our lives. The invisible to-do or how-to lists that allow the word ‘should’ to creep into our psyche. When I go and talk or teach groups of people about ideas of […]

Robert frost

I was wrestling with a blog post last night. I had crafted it perfectly while reading in the bath and then when I sat down to type it, it was gone. Here and gone. I’ve written this phrase 100 million times in the last 4 years. Its by a woman I look up to – […]


There is a disconnect when you write the stories. That you have to ask to hear them in order to write them. Sometimes in the telling, the sadness bubbles back up to the surface for those who open up and tell. I get that for the most part my layered understanding about the telling of what […]