school walking

The end of term is closing in. When my step daughters were the age of my daughter I would scoff at peoples suggestion about the exhaustion that comes from 10 weeks of listening and learning. There have been tears most days this week, over-tired excitement and a snippet of light into the teenage years as I drag her from her warm bed each morn.

In between the tears is also the discussion about friendships. About the politics of the playground, of the harsh words, the rule changers and the joy of sometimes just playing alone in the dirt with sticks. Some days I want to swap places with her.

Julia Zemiro is my hero. She has the required sass, intellect and fingerless gloves in her new TV show for me to spend time gazing at her, wishing my hair would swish in the same way.

Some days there is no space between me and my daughter – we both fight the frizz in our own personal curly hair wars.

Julia interviewed Alan Brough about his recollections of stepping back to his growing years in NZ. As they sat on the bed in his old dorm at Boarding school he looked out the window and pondered on the art of finding the right friends..

‘its like you set your archetypal friends early on and then you look for them for the rest of your life…so those people are in a way providing comfort and friendship throughout your life just different versions of them.’

When I look around at my life now I see that I’ve collected a random assortment of mates that have been with me for both a long time and a short time. If they were all gathered in a room not many people could spot the similarities – they don’t look the same, dress the same, talk the same but they have common qualities that fit with my idea of what a friend is. They speak their mind, they have intellect and wit and a sense of humour in equal measure and they come together as an entwined support group when I feel myself falling. They catch me.

I had plans to have long meandering talks with my girl over the holidays to offset the continual playground wars discussion but inspiration grabs you in the strangest of places. Perhaps our children are just deciding who their friend type will be as they traverse the asphalt. One of my mates has made the journey with me from those days, one was collected from the uni bar, one from a job long ago and there are some jostling for position from the playground my girl battles in too.

Providing comfort for the long haul is the foundation of a good friend.

Whats your friend type?

Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. Nice post Mrs, at times friendships/lack of/ FOMO has caused the biggest angst in one of my boys lives. I get it, because it does the same to me too sometimes. but I’m happy that I’ve found ‘my people” and I’m even more happy that you’re one of them. Happy chatting with your gorgeous girl, you’re a lovely Mum (and friend) x

  2. The FOMO issue is extreme isnt it but when I catch myself telling the kids to embrace the now I think Im being a bit hypocritical because I also struggle with missing out…you are one of my people if only you worked on the intellect side of things…

  3. This is an inspired post. Again! It’s made me wish, not for the first time, that I lived in the same city as you. Sometimes I read what you write and think you’ve somehow reached into my brain and spoken what I know I’ve thought at some time or another. I know I could have long interesting conversations with you. Maybe someday, huh. Ooops sorry… is my fan-girl showing? 😉

    Very timely post, of course, as we are nearing end of term as well. My girl, after changing schools this term, has found her groove I think. She’s MUCH more settled, engaged after school and responsive about same. A sure sign that blossoming friendships at this new place are going along ok for the moment. I take my hands off and let her steer her own friend radar as much as I can; of course with as little imprinting as possible at home, she will be better equipped to seek out and recognise those archetypes that fit her as she gets older. Happily, I find at this school there’s no stepping in to be done – a refreshing change!

    I saw that show last night, it was really touching. I think it is going to become a Wednesday night staple for me.


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