I wrote a piece last week about christmas and the space between the saccharine display for peace and togetherness versus the stark reality that christmas sux for a lot of people.
People say that when you have kids the joy of christmas returns from that place where you shelved it at 13 or 14…the look on your kids face on christmas morning, the christmas carols and the food…why is there so much food?
Im the first to say that Christmas is my least favourite time of year for a few reasons. I find christmas carols really sad, I tear up whenever I hear them and not in a happy nostalgic way but more a sad and depressing way. I made this comment on my personal FB page a few days ago while on my way to the Opera House for the Baby proms…most people admitted that they too had a bit of a quiet sob when carols were playing but one person said they chose to view christmas as time to be grateful for what they have. A way of looking forward rather than back.
Im not sure what gets me when I hear the beginning of a christmas song. I remember them playing as a kid on Christmas while we waited for the extended family to turn up (its always hard not to eat what you’ve prepared in that space between being ready and when people arrive…). It also reminds me of my time at school – whilst Im not a practising Catholic nowadays I guess christmas at school was a little more balanced in reminding us with that poetic tagline that ‘Jesus is the reason for the season’. Christmas is also a reminder of things Id prefer to forget but the slowness of the songs, the thoughts of being together and those innappropriate sobbing hormones you get as a woman make me a little bit tragic at this time.
In thinking of all of this I had a chat with Graham Long at Wayside Chapel and he told me not to despair. He told me that lots of people feel like this and then seemed a little perplexed when I asked him if I could call him everyday so he could keep me focussed on holding it together.
So thats what Im going to do. Im going to sing those darn songs, stiffle the sobs, hold my babies tight and look ahead…looking back reeks havoc on my hastily applied mascara.
So what about you – any anonymous christmas carol sobbers out there??