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I sat on the floor at a friends place the other day catching pieces of avocado sushi that my son was lovingly stabbing with his soy fishy. My friend had delivered two beautiful babies in the last 18 months. She looked busy and content.
We swayed into the safe territory of books and blogs and thoughts. We’ve never been good at talking about stuff and that’s why I love her. We talked about the big debate on why Mamamia doesnt pay and on why people choose to voice their opinions even when they are sometimes not asked.
I was driving away from her and listening to the radio. I heard someone talk about their local street party and how to invitation of the elders of the street gave an added layer of wisdom. There wasn’t much clarification from the person sharing this, about what wisdom meant it, it was merely a reference to old = wise = benefit for community.
We used to live next door to a very old lady growing up. She was cranky and snarky and used her powers for evil instead of good. She was old and knew things but I wouldn’t call her wise. I don’t remember any old people growing up who I looked to for life lessons. My Facebook friends tell me that wisdom is based on experience not age. That you dont have to have walked the earth for multiple decades to know a thing or two. I think that, each time I look at my kids when they point out what Im doing wrong.
When I was in the States a few years back the woman I had travelled to see had imparted her wisdom upon me for five days straight but the last comment she made to me was what stuck with me. I was gathering up all of my scribbled notes and folders and trying to work out what time I should get to the airport while juggling texts from my ex-husband. She said to me that when I re-partnered (I liked the way she said when not if) that I needed to find someone who could look after themselves. That re-partnering after divorce was about not finding someone I could look after but someone who looked after themselves.
I dont always remember the things we talked about in her office but I remember the last drive. She was life wise. She also knew when to share.
Wisdom is knowing when to talk up and when to sit back. When to voice your thoughts, paid or unpaid, requested or not and when to package them up and shut them away. We all travel different journeys being wise isn’t to do with age its about knowing when the world might benefit from what you have to say.
What happens for you when you sway into unchartered conversation territory – do you share your wisdom or keep it quiet?
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Really agree with you! Wisdom is not about age rather experience, application & being always willing to learn from others as well as share…..life wise, loved this! Thank you.
Thanks Kerri! Application is a great word for knowing when to share your wiseness. I notice that so much of our conversations are full of people waiting for the bit to share their snippet rather than listening – cheers to being life wise!! (no grey hair required)
Sarah, I think there are lessons to be learned all around all the time from all different people, old, young, wise and unwise.
I think what makes us who we are is what messages we choose to listen to and take on board.
Lovely story thank you.
I think that choosing to listen to messages thing is age related – even thought being wise isnt. When you’re young you spend so much time not knowing how to filter out the stuff you shouldnt listen to – my pleasure Mark
A beautiful post Sarah. I loved your friend’s advice “not finding someone I could look after but someone who looked after themselves.” The getting of wisdom I think is not just for the elders. As you mentioned, the young teach us. Thank you
You’re right in saying that some people never learn no matter how long they live. As for wisdom, I try to stick by this creed “never give advice because the wise don’t need it and the unwise don’t heed it”.
I think thats so true but isnt it funny when you start to move in parenting circles and conversation gets replaced by advice – where all we say is what we did with our kids rather than listen to what the other person truly has to say. Thanks for stopping by x
I am working on being a lot more mindful on this exact thing. I mustn’t be wise yet as I am totally still learning when to pipe up and when to zip it! Recently at a training I went to the trainer said to imagine that every word cost us $1. Be that efficient with our words. This paragraph has cost me a fortune already!
Lee I want to live like this – the idea of a currency of words might make people stop and think through what they say before it falls out there mouth!! Thanks so much for stopping by x